This is my daughter, Emily-Victoria. Adorable isn't she? She was born on October 6th, 2011, at 1:04pm. She is more beautiful than I could have dreamed, and I also want her to be motivated to face her challenges. In order for that to happen, I must face mine. The first of those was to conquer my fear of pain and birth her naturally. This wasn't to show anyone else up or to say one method of birth is better than another. It was that it was the goal I set and wanted to accomplish and having done that I feel very proud to have done so. I intend to follow suit with any further births I may have.
However, my biggest challenge will be getting my education, and becoming the woman I want my daughter to be proud of. I am 28 years old, and while I graduated from high school I did so with a 2.8 GPA. This wasn't because I was dumb, it was because I was lazy and careless. Whenever something became too hard or lost its initial glitter and shine I was over it. Race, race, race and become superficially good at something until it required effort to be better. The area this hurt me the most is math.
As I said, I am 28 years old and I am now working on my AA degree. My ultimate goal is to get my MA or my PhD in Clinical psychology. I need to do this for myself because it is long over due, but also for that little girl you see above.
Currently I am on quest to improve my math. I have roughly 8 classes ahead of me, including the one I am in now. I am taking one class at a time until I get a schedule and my daughter is in preschool. I am also doing this through distance education. The end result is 3 solid years of math and nothing else. I want to love math when this is over. Sort of a stockholm syndrome towards the subject?
I want her to watch me walk for my diploma, and know that her Mama may have created the mess she is in, but worked to get out of it. I want her to not only hear that perseverance pays off, but to see it in practice. Most of all I want her to realize that the sweetest things in life take working for. So I will be documenting my frustrations, my progress, and my triumphs on here to show her someday. Please share with me your own struggles you have worked towards and succeeded in!
Baby and I took the bus into town and I took the bus in and visited classmates this week also. I think she enjoyed the ride and was very curious about everything. After a while her curiosity gave way the gentle rhythm of the bus in motion and then sleep. The best part of the visit was getting to see Auntie Clara. Auntie loves babies and is such a kind woman!!
In other news we celebrated valentines three days in a row. Emily-Victoria sat at the table like a big girl and wondered when she too would get to eat. Amory and I decided that it was time to purchase a Silhouette Cameo paper cutter. With it he made some beautiful butterflies for me as well as gave Baby her first tattoo. 
